how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
