Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
