ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
