Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
