i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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