Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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