They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
