He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize