It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
whose ass print is on the piano?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
