So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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