dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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