I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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