My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
