oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize