i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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