my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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