U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
