i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
