my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize