wrigley field is MILF paradise
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Randomize
