i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
