I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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