i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's blow job season.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
