its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
