good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
