new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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