I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
