Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize