he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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