making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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