I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
