I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
