It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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