Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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