cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
