when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize