wanna go halves on a baby?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
