we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
