so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
