Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Four minutes until I can fart!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
