I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
