I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
