maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
