can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
