Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
