Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
