nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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