im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
