I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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