I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
