I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
