Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
