im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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