Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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