Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize