these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
