Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
